I came across a presentation by Victor Frankl, talking about what motivates people, our search for meaning and how to achieve our potential.
What an amazing man – I love that he took up flying as a “mature” learner!
I’m reminded of my boss, back when I worked at Eaton’s during my university years. She used to take me for coffee sometimes, and we’d talk about people and leadership. One day, she said “Heidi, don’t ever forget that people will live UP TO or DOWN TO your expectations. May as well expect the best from them!”
In my own experience, one of university professors had a profound impact on my life – just by leaning across the table during my final exam and whispering “I expect great things from you…” http://www.iwasthinking.ca/2007/08/29/about-great-expectations/
It felt like an awful lot of pressure in that particular moment (and I was scared that I wouldn’t achieve “great” things). But throughout my life, I’ve often stopped and checked whether I was living up to my potential – if I was doing great things yet? That simple whisper planted a seed for me – in a way, it gave me “permission” to dream or to want more.
With my own children, I often think about that experience. I have to stop sometimes and remind myself not to worry. It’s so easy to get caught up in the moment, particularly when things aren’t going so well.
When my middle son was obviously struggling with reading and writing, it was easy to think “if we don’t fix this, he’ll struggle his whole life and school will be horrible and how can he possibly go to college or university…” When my 12 year old daughter (at the height of being a tween, verging on the edge of being a teenager) has a meltdown about being asked to clean her room, it’s easy to feel like I have to teach her how to care for her things or she’ll always be irresponsible, will never look after things. A friend of mine calls this “catastophizing” – falling into the trap of blowing something way out of proportion, thinking that all the worst things will happen.
There is a sense of trust that I’ve been cultivating lately – trust in myself as a parent, and trust in my children to learn and grow.
For kids to learn how to trust themselves, they need us to remind them that they are capable.
They need us to show them that it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them.
They need us to expect good things – because it’s that kind of faith that helps them be their very best selves…
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